The Without Remorse star recently sat down with Angie Martinez for her debut episode of the Angie Martinez: IRL Podcast.

By Shanelle Genai

On the debut episode of Angie Martinez’s new Angie Martinez: IRL PodcastWithout Remorse star Lauren London opens up about the lessons she’s learned about death after Nipsey Hussle’s passing, the pure love the two of them shared and her desire to move out of Los Angeles.

Screenshot: YouTube/Angie Martinez

Sitting down for her first in-person interview since Hussle’s passing, London touched on the sensitive treatment she’s received from people in the aftermath, explaining how she’s “grateful for it when it’s genuine” but acknowledged the fact that it’s isolating for people to act as if “their particular situation is the worst thing anyone could imagine.”

She also touched on the lack of “death etiquette” that most people have, explaining that because death is such a foreign concept, most people don’t know how to usher someone into that transition, nor do they know to deal with others during that time in their life.

“I think just sitting with someone, I felt like the people who came in to just be with me—and then sometimes I think just holding space. It’s hard for us because when your friend or someone you love is going through something, you naturally want to fix it. And this is not something to fix,” she explained. “This is something to go through with someone. You just roll with them. You sit with them. You hold space for them. You feed them. You maybe not try to say something that will make them feel better because there’s really nothing that will make them feel better. Just hold the space for them and be there.”

Speaking on the bond she and Hussle had, she explained that they had “pure love” and “good intention,” but that there were times that both of their egos came into play during their relationship:

“I didn’t think about it until I wasn’t in a relationship anymore because of the death. A lot of times we are such in our ego that we are in possession of another person. We’re not experiencing them, we’re not totally loving them and letting them be free. We think we’re supposed to be together forever, and that’s not a spiritual relationship. A spiritual relationship is without the ego.

We are together, I bring you up and inspire you, and you inspire me. If there ever comes a point where am not inspired anymore and now I’m in my ego, and now I feel I need to possess you, now I feel the need to control you, and you’re mine then I’m in my ego. And that’s not love. There’s love in there, but now I’m operating in my ego and not in my pure love.”

Later, when the topic of moving out of LA arises, London admits that she thinks about it “all the time” due to the constant reminders of Hussle around the city, in her home, and in her spirit, which sometimes makes it “too heavy” to deal with. However, she insisted that it’s “not the right time” for her and her family to leave.

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